his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
