were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
In America we eat man semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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