Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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