**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
