my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
