Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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