If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
