Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
