i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
