I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize