i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
