I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
