are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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