he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
