You're my little dorito
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize