If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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