you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
