no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
