Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
