She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
