and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize