Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize