Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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