but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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