Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
