he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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