This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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