Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
