I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
