Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
