I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
