apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
