We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
