I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
