Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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