I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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