i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
