I cannot find my penis.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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