Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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