White coat. Heels.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
