Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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