I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
