I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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