Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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