ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
