Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
