omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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