Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize