So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
