I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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