he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
