What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
