Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He passed out mid-signature
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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