This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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