I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
