his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
