I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
