you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
