He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
