yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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