i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
