I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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