Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
