I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What drink are we having for lunch?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
