just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize