Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
