so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
