i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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