one two three fourrrrnication!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
