im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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