I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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